Recently I was talking to a friend who was considering whether to make a name change.
Not her own name. Her one-year-old son's middle name. She wants to switch the name to honor her son's deceased grandfather. (In Jewish tradition, it's typical to honor departed relatives by naming children after them.)
I listened to my friend closely, because deciding my son's middle name was an arduous task for my husband and me. We had many close relatives we wanted to honor and several great names to choose from. Is it too late, I've occasionally wondered, to make a change? Would it confuse my son, now 16 months? Would it insult the side of the family we named him after? And, more sheepishly, what about all the beautiful monogrammed gifts we received?
Apparently my friend and I are not alone in facing baby-name remorse. A surprising number of parents have considered changing their children's names and some have even filed the paperwork and made the trek to civil court to do so. A piece on CNN.com cited a poll of 1,219 mothers conducted by BabyCenter.com, in which 10% considered changing their baby's name. Meanwhile, in the Washington Post, an essayist wrote about staring at her one month old daughter and realizing 'Oh man. We gave our kid the wrong name.' (She ended up changing the child's name to Summer from Presley.)
Parents worry about giving their children too trendy or common a name one set of parents changed their daughter's name after they realized that 4 of the 13 kids in her daycare were named Sophie. Other parents simply fall in love with another name after the fact. Perhaps the name they loved during pregnancy just doesn't suit the child once his or her personality emerges. Or maybe the child has gotten unbearable flack for his or her name from relatives or friends.
Psychologists say that by a year, most children already recognize the sound of their names, and that after age two, parents should seek the child's input and approval if they decide to make a change. 'It's best to change the name before then, because by 2 or 3 they have a sense of identity, and it could send mixed messages. The child might ask himself, 'Do you want to change me?'' Dr. Karla Umpierre, a Miami psychologist and family counselor, according to CNN.com.
Parents these days invest loads of time and research into coming up with the perfect name not too common or trendy, but hopefully not too freakish that the kid will get a complex. 'Today, there's this perception that naming a child is almost like naming a product there's this huge national drive now to not be like anyone else,' Laura Wattenberg, founder of the blog BabyNameWizard.com, according to CNN.com.
The most common names, according to a Social Security Administration release last month, are Jacob, Michael and Ethan for boys, and Emma, Isabella and Emily for girls. But according to new research, most parents opt for less common names. In 2007, only 9% of boys had a name that ranked among the top 10 most popular names, compared to 1955 when 32% had a 'popular' name. The same trend held true for girls only 8% of girls had a top-10 name in 2007, compared to 22% in 1955.
Baby names have been a popular topic here at the Juggle. Readers, have you ever had any naming remorse with your children or with your own name?
最近，我同一位正考慮是否改名的朋友聊了一會。
不是她自己的名字，而是她一歲兒子的中間名。她想換一下這個名字，以紀念孩子故去的爺爺。(按猶太人的傳統，通常都會讓孩子沿用離世的親人的名字，以表紀念之情。）
我認真傾聽了朋友的講話，因為決定我兒子的中間名對我的丈夫和我來說也是一項繁重的任務。我們有很多想要紀念的親友，也有好幾個名字需要從中選擇。我時常會想，現在改名是否太晚？這會讓現在16個月的兒子感到迷惑嗎？是否會冒犯採用這個名字的那一部分家人呢？更令人為難的是，我們收到的那些嵌有名字的漂亮禮物怎麼辦？
顯然並非只有我的朋友和我對孩子的名字感到後悔。竟然有如此多的家長考慮給孩子改名，有的甚至不惜向民事法庭提交文件以達到這一目的。CNN.com 的一篇報導援引了 BabyCenter.com 對1,219位母親進行的調查，其中有10%的受訪者考慮給孩子改名。與此同時，在《華盛頓郵報》，一位評論人寫道，她盯着一個月大的女兒，突然意識到，“噢，天哪。我們給孩子起錯名字了。” （她最終將孩子的名字從Presley改為了Summer。）
父母擔心給自己孩子起的名字太過時髦或是普通，當一對夫妻發現託兒所的13個孩子中就有四個名叫蘇菲(Sophie)后，他們就給女兒改了名字。還有的家長只是在事後喜歡上了另一個名字。當孩子的個性逐漸顯露出來的時候，她們在懷孕時喜歡上的名字或許不再適合了。或者孩子難以忍受親友對其名字的演繹。
心理學家說，到一歲時，大多數兒童都能聽出是否在叫他們的名字，在兩歲之後，如果父母決定給孩子改名，應該尋求孩子的參與並徵得同意。CNN.com 的報導稱，邁阿密心理學家、家庭輔導員安培瑞(Karla Umpierre)說，最後在此之前給孩子改名，因為到了兩、三歲時，他們就會有認同感，而改名會發出混亂的訊息。孩子可能會問自己，你想改變我嗎？
如今，父母們都將大量的時間和精力用到鑽研好名字上面，不要太普通，也不要太新潮，但也不要太怪異，免得對孩子的心理產生不好的影響。據 CNN.com 稱，博客網站 BabyNameWizard.com 的創始人沃騰伯格(Laura Wattenberg)說，現在，有一種感覺是給孩子起名就像是給產品命名一樣，目前全國都有一種不想同他人一樣的巨大動力。
據美國社會保障總署(Social Security Administration)上月發佈的數據稱，男孩中最常用的名字是雅各布(Jacob)、邁克爾(Michael)和伊桑(Ethan)，女孩中最常用的名字是艾瑪(Emma)、伊莎貝拉(Isabella)和艾美麗(Emily)。但根據最新研究，大多數父母都傾向於不太常見的名字。在2007年，只有9%的男孩的名字位列十大最常用的名字之中，而1955年時這個比例是32%。女孩名字也是同樣的趨勢，2007年時只有8%的女孩的名字位列十大最常用的名字之中，而1955年時這個比例是22%。
孩子的名字一直是《工作?家》欄目的一個熱門話題。讀者朋友們，你對孩子的名字或是自己的名字是否有後悔的時候？
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